Shut Up, Little Man!

Interviews with Eddie Lee, Peter Haskett - Shut Up, Little Man!

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Eddie Lee Sausage, interviewed by Dan Augustine — from HOOFSIP, Winter 1994

eddie lee
Eddie Lee Sausage
in a recent photo

HOOFSIP: How long did you live next door to Raymond and Peter, and when you moved out, were they still living there?
Sausage: Mitchell and I lived next door, or I should say attempted to "live" next door to Pete and Ray for about nineteen months. We moved out to pursue other pleasures in other cities, but Pete and Ray carried on living there for about two years after our departure.
HOOFSIP: I know Raymond died, but do you have any idea what Peter and Tony are doing?
Sausage: About seven months after Raymond died, Peter and Tony had a horrendous fight. It seems that Tony pulled a naked Peter out of bed, beat the shit out of him, literally trying to kick his head in. Tony then deposited the beat, broken, and still naked Peter out on the veranda that we used to share. The cops eventually arrived, drove a badly mangled Peter to the hospital for an extended stay, and took Tony to the "stoney lonesome." Tony was charged with aggravated assault, and because he has an extensive police record, is now doing time in Vacaville Mental Health Prison, the current residence of one Charles Manson. Peter has persevered and is now living in the Tenderloin, a definite step toward the sewer. When Mitchell and I met up with him last August he was shit-faced in the middle of the afternoon, weaving all over the streets. Mush.
HOOFSIP: Do you know what Raymond and Peter’s preferred brand of beer was?
Sausage: Bud for Tony. Peter was on the vodka, having graduated from gin. Ray drank anything, but I did once catch him at Walgreen’s stumbling around with two 40-ouncers of Mickey’s Malt Liquor. It was a suspenseful moment, actually, watching him attempt to wrestle control of the two bottles while locomoting toward the check-out counter. Just before he got there, sure enough, he dropped one and it burst all over the floor. He looked up and said emphatically, "Was not my fault! Was not my fault!" And then real quietly, he looked down at his shoes and the puddle of glass and beer and said, "Well. . . maybe it was."
HOOFSIP: Do you get any royalties from the play in New York, and is it going to be running in any other states?
Sausage: No we received no royalties from the play in New York. The little man who did the play milked us for information for months and months. I even helped him by sending images of the Pepto-Bismol palace and Pete and Ray and writing something for the program, and he didn’t reciprocate. I don’t expect much, but the guy turned out to be such a fascist asshole, calling me and claiming that he was going to sue me! The play also premiered in Los Angeles in August 1993.
HOOFSIP: What’s the latest on the movie?

Sausage: The film project is moving along as before. Presently, there is a top-notch writer working up a first draft. He’s a very intense, sharp guy. We were flown out to Los Anguels two months ago for a conference with him. There are already bids from production companies to produce the film.
HOOFSIP: Did Raymond and Peter always fight like that? Or did you just record them when they argued, just to make them come across as grumpy old men?
Sausage: Of course they didn’t always fight. But the amazing thing about them was the alarming frequency of the fights. I think the longest period of silence next door lasted three weeks. Toward the end of our tenure at the Pepto-Bismol Palace, Pete and Ray were fighting at least every other day. And when they were fighting, it was an all day event.
HOOFSIP: Would you consider Tony the "peace-maker" since the majority of "skits" he’s in on "Shut Up, Little Man" are probably the least arguitive of the "skits"?
Sausage: Tony was curious element in the Pete and Ray equation. I mean, you listen to the tapes and there is the most intolerable, vitriolic, belligerent screeching going on for thirty or forty minutes, and suddenly, quietly, you will hear Tony say something or hear one of the others refer to his being in the room. And you think: "Holy shit, you mean someone is sitting there in the room tolerating this onslaught?" It is obvious that he was a pathological, sick pup. He was by no means a peace-maker, and I think all in all he was the probable cause of the jealousy-fueled fights. In an interview tape conducted by a New Zealander for radio broadcast in Auckland ("Peter and Tony"), Tony proudly and repeatedly notes how he ’kicked Ray’s ass and put him in the hospital more than once.’
HOOFSIP: I’ve heard about the way Raymond and Peter spent Thanksgiving, what about other holidays?
Sausage: Well, the most brutal holiday living next to Pete and Ray was Christmas 1987. It was Christmas Eve and they had been pounding on each other all day. It was a frightful time, our first Christmas away from home, and next door these monsters were carving away at each other all day. You can hear it on one of the tapes. Ray is thrashing Peter for a good hour, "I hate all queers. Queers ain’t human. I despise you." And very quietly in the background you hear Pete respond, "Merry Christmas, Ray." Tragic. Anyway, the verbal fight turned physical and they sprawled out onto the veranda. It culminated with Peter throwing Ray over the balcony railing onto the cement fifteen feet below. Merry Christmas, Ray.
HOOFSIP: Does Peter and Tony know you’re making a profit off of them?
Sausage: First of all, we have made next to nothing on the tapes. We sold the rights to the record label for a few hundred bucks. We thought: "Who would want to listen to this stuff?" Then, of course, it took off and the CD sold out the first three pressings. Whe we sold the film option rights, again it was for peanuts. Mitchell and I are both very conscientious and we wanted to help Peter out. I mean, we never even intended for the tapes to circulate as they did. We never wanted to exploit the man, even though he had made our lives miserable for so long. Plus, we thought he might need some money. So, we took half of what we made to Peter and said, "Look, you’re not going to believe us but. . . we made this tape of you and Ray fighting [to which he responded, "Ray and I never fought."] . . . and it has become a sort of cult classic. . . blah blah blah. . . here’s some money." He looked at us and said, "I don’t want your money, babes, I don’t need your money." And, then for about an hour and a half he obsessed on us sexually, saying, "Do you wanna get a hotel room? I would like to show you my collection of naughty polaroids. I would love to suck your cocks."
HOOFSIP: What is your favorite line of each person involved in this "soap opera"?
Sausage: Raymond: I was a mean muthafucka in my time, and I still am! Peter: Yeah you were probably wounded when you fell on your bayonet when you were drunk. Tony: I seen them potheads. They, uh, smoke a joint of weed, and then the next thing you know, them sum bitches eat!
HOOFSIP: How many hours do you have of these guys on tape, and is all of it available to the public? Sausage: I don’t even know anymore. At one time I figured it out to be about fifteen hours. But, I moved around a great deal and I don’t even know where all the stuff is. I definitely have six volumes of 90 minute rants. And then the two interview tapes that are sixty minutes each. I know I’ll find more of the stuff if and when I settle down again.
HOOFSIP: Have Raymond and Peter been single all their lives?
Sausage: They may have been technically "single," but they were definitely married and bound to each other by hatred and will be for eternity because of the tapes.